quote:

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"Ladies and Gentlemen of this supposed jury, Puff Daddy's accusers would certainly want you to believe my client was carrying a stolen gun on December 27th, and they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself. But Ladies and Gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk who carried a gun and ran from the mob. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it. That does not make sense. Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot-tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor with a bunch of two-foot-tall Ewoks. That does not make sense.

But more important, you have to ask yourself what does this have to do with this case. Nothing. Ladies and Gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case. It does not make sense. Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending a major record company producer and entertainer and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and Gentlemen I am not making any sense. None of this makes sense.

And so you have to remember when you're in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No. Ladies and Gentlemen of this supposed jury it does not make sense. If Chewbacca lives on Endor you must acquit.

I know he seems guilty. But ladies and gentlemen this is Chewbacca. Now think about that for one minute. That does not make sense. Why am I talking about Chewbacca when a man's life is on the line? Why? I'll tell you why. I don't know. It doesn't make sense. If Chewbacca does not make sense you must acquit. Here look at the monkey , look at the silly monkey.

The defense rests."

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quote:

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Michael Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle a male
astronomer for warmth during BBC1's eclipse coverage remarked:
"They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's
come in his shorts."

Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny
Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick
likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:
"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he
gets."

Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyres on World
Superbikes: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet
he wished he had a hard on now."

Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith
Keppel on This Morning: "She was practicing fastest finger first
by herself in bed last night."

Winning Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's
formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and
likes what he sees."

Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond:
"Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."

During the 1989 British Masters golf tournament, commentator
Richie Benaud observed: "Notices are appearing at courses telling
golfers not to lick their balls on the green."

Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v
Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his
lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."

Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold
night like this."

James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked:
"What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by
Barrichello?"

Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much
better today after a 69."

The new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath
away... "My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."

Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for
a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a
night about coming from different positions."

Steve Leonard, talking about vegetation on Vets In The Wild, told
Trude: "There's something big growing between my legs."

Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team
Live said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

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quote:

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Get your quotes right... The least you could do is google them.

A census taker... not a psychologist. He ate the census taker's liver..


And for The Shining.

Jack Torrance: Wendy!

Wendy Torrance: Stay away!

Jack Torrance: Darling! Light of my life! I'm not gonna hurt you. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said, "I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just gonna bash your brains in." I'm gonna bash 'em right the **** in!

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I think if kids are on the internet, it is already to late.
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So instead of trying to put a stop to this epidemic, you choose to be a contributor?

aggie was just trying to say, dont bring it to these forums...leave it elsewhere.





Edited by - UnderOath on 12/09/2003 18:39:58